Don't get frisked by the law

Vehicle citations are Not So Pretty, so contributing writer, Pretty Kim gave us all deets on how to get out of a ticket without being frisked by the law.

How To: Get out of a traffic citation, and score better parking free of tickets after 6 PM

In Los Angeles there are 527 miles of freeway and 382 miles of conventional highways. Every last mile of them are patrolled by traffic cops with nothing else better to do than give you a ticket. And when you DO get a ticket, you risk higher insurance premiums, headaches, and the possibility of getting runny eyeliner as you cry to get out of it. Here’s my guide to getting out of a ticket if you do get one and getting better ticket-free parking.

Use your cell phone camera to take a photo of the dashboard AND the clock in your car. As soon as you get pulled over, snap these photos, especially of the clock! If you camera phone logs the date and time of each photo, even better.
Why this works: When you contest your ticket, if the date or time is incorrect on the ticket, you can successfully challenge the ticket either in court, or via Trial-By-Mail or Trial-By-Declaration. Provided your ticket is for a simple infraction or moving violation, more likely than not, the judge will toss out your ticket! Simply print the photo, attach a copy of the picture to your statement as evidence.

Take a photo of your car ASAP after you get the violation.
Why this works: I successfully got out of a ticket when I noticed that the officer incorrectly indicated that my car was silver in color. My car is unmistakably bright white. Again, you can usually successfully contest your ticket with this technique. If the officer can’t even tell what color your car is, how can they tell if that really was you talking on your cell phone?

Request a trial in traffic court.
Why this works: Most officers are reluctant to go to court over small violations. For example, a HOV or carpool lane violation will run you about $450-600 plus fees. That’s serious scratch that I would rather not part with. Although you will still be required to pay the bail amount, odds are very much in your favor that your citing officer will not appear in court. Also, once your citation is dismissed, you get your money back in the mail, less a $10 processing fee. Less than 25% of citing officers appear in court for non-felony traffic cases.

Park in Yellow or Green Curb Zones after 6 PM.

Why this works: http://ladot.lacity.org/tf_Colored_Curb_Zones.htm

TIP:

Take Fountain Ave.

Why this works: Not the most direct route between Silverlake and West Hollywood, however, the LAPD seems to be much more interested in the goings on of Sunset and Santa Monica Boulevards during the day. If you’re OK with 4-way stops, Fountain is OK with you.

Tampons.
If you get pulled over by a cop for speeding, whip out a tampon and mention it's your time of the month, right here. Right now. And you urgently need to... ahem!Why this works: Male officers are still male and usually completely grossed out by periods, period. They don't really want to know what goes on in your no-no-zone. As a dude, they also want to avoid being on the receiving end of PMS. I mean, EW Listen, THIS WORKS VERY WELL VERY VERY WELL. No one else will know except you and the cop who is NOT issuing you a ticket.