Detox Day 3: This healthy stuff is discusting

It's day 3 and I'm learning how deeply my love for coffee is. Especially those non-fat lattes from Urth. I have a little less of an attitude problem than I did yesterday, but I'm kind of bummed. I'm mourning my loss of coffee. I still complain a lot, and was instructed by my Partner in Pretty to "stop being so dramatic" about how gross one of my veggie drinks was yesterday. (I'm thinking this detox is almost as hard on her as it is on me!) I'm already thinking about how I'm going to eat differently when this is over, like how I'm going to give up dairy and eat very little animal protein. I'm even pursuing the notion of becoming a vegan, something that seemed impossible before but now, seems like a luxury. It's the giving up of those delicious lattes that I'm sad about. And I also need to rant about these powders that are making my existence pretty miserable:

Barlean's Greens is some kind of super food that will give me an ultra dose of veggie nutrition and active enzymes that have been missing from my diet of Lean Pockets and Diet Dr. Pepper (i.e., the greatest meal ever!). I have this at home to eat in the morning after my shot of Goji Berry Juice. This one, sad little shot of Goji Berry Juice is the highlight of my day as it tastes wonderful. But then after that -- ugh, get ready for the "green drink." I even follow the advice in the MV Diet Detox book and mix the green drink in my blender to make sure there isn't undissolved granules. But whatever, this stuff is gross. It tastes exactly like an old kitchen sponge that needs to be thrown away. I cope with this morning horror by downing it as fast as I can with a bendy straw and then immediately follow it with a big gulp of water with lemon to rid my mouth of the taste.


Green's + Wild Berry Burst will give me a ton of antioxidants, and the same nutritional benefits of eating a crapload of fruit, but without the sugar of fruit. This I'm supposed to have when I get to work at about 10 am. I skipped this morning's dose, I just can't take it. Everyone on Vitacost's site said that this stuff tastes wonderful. Whuh? Then I realized that they have the pleasure of mixing it in with bananas, strawberries, etc. and using it to make a delicious healthy smoothie. However I'm just supposed to mix this with straight up distilled water and that's it. The fake berry taste is overwhelming, and just awful. I'll probably eat my morning dose of this later, I'm just in a bad mood right now.



VegeSplash is a super concetrated mix of vegetable nutrition. It also tastes pretty gross. It's reminiscent of tomatoes, but watered down with a side of anguish. I'm supposed to have this at 12 (or instead a live juice) and again at 2. So even though I made a wonderful juice concoction of carrots, cucumber, and broccolli that's waiting for me at noon, I still have to choke down this crap at 2. Hmm...maybe I'll mix it in with my nightly soup instead?


I don't mean to bash all these powders, in fact I'll probably keep using them even after this detox, integrating them into daily routines. But instead of just drinking them with water, I'll mix the VegeSplash in with a soup or veggie juice, and mix the Berry Burst in with apple juice, just as examples. I'm consoled by several things: that I made an awesome batch of Italian Green Bean Soup that was oh so filling and good, that I came up with a live veggie juice recipe that didn't taste like death, and that I've lost 6 pounds since I started.

19 more days to go. . .

Urth's delicious latte image source